When you're NOT smarter than a 5th grader

You know, it must really suck to be a fanatical neocon.

I mean, besides having to pretend to be all high-minded and moralistic and obsessed with family values and stuff, you gotta act like you've that good old American patriotism thing down pat, too.

And then....

That tea-baggers rally on the Capitol Mall late last week that garnered a whopping couple-hundred Michelle Bachman devotees was thrilled to hear keynote speeches from the likes of Representative Todd Akins (R-MO) and Representative John Boehner (whose name is supposed to be pronounced "bay ner" but radio personality Stephanie Miller is going to call "boner" until he stops -- deliberately -- calling it the "Democrat" party).

When lined up for their respective speeches, their lack of preparation only matched their seeming lack of enthusiasm for the cause.

Akins got up and, in a totally botched attempt at outrage, decided to drive "liberals crazy" by calling for the crowd to recite with him the Pledge of Allegiance.

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America,

and to the republic for which it stands,

one nation, UNDER GOD (he yelled, for obvious emphasis)

with liberty and justice for all."

Oops.

In a moment of true Freudian slip-ness, he excluded the word that follows "under God:"

Indivisible.

Apropos, considering how the GOP has been dead-set on creating as much disunity and division in the country as they can muster.

The part of "no," is also now the party of "no indivisibility."

Ah... but that little "John Roberts moment" (that's actually the term Akin's spokesman used) was nothing compared to good old John Boner (er, Boehner) who was up next.

Standing there, all proud and authoritative-like, Boehner held high a booklet he said was "my copy of the Constitution" which, he went on to say included the immortal words of the Founding Fathers who wrote

"in the preamble 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

Wow.

Unless you didn't catch that, those words he quoted are actually taken from the Declaration of Independence -- written and signed in 1776, predated our current Constitution by a good eleven years.

Perhaps he meant to quote the U.S. Constitution preamble which says

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

This rally was held to protest a proposed health-care insurance reform bill, by the way.... you know, a measure intended to "promote the general welfare" of the country.

Maybe that's why he opted to wrongly quote something else.

Those damned legal documents -- like the Constitution and Declaration of Independence -- keep tripping him up.

It must suck to be a fanatical neocon.

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